I'm not claiming this movie is good for you, Lord knows. This movie could hardly seem more weirdly artificial if it had been jointly hatched by David Lynch and John Waters, and raised in a lab on a steady diet of Foreigner hits and original Broadway-cast recordings.

'Rock of Ages' is so remarkably fake it's almost ur-fake or meta-fake you can watch the globs of trans fats congealing on its preternaturally bright surfaces as it cools. Compared to this fake musical set in a fake version of the past that spins a ridiculously fake narrative of pop-culture history, 'Mamma Mia' (the last jukebox musical to be vilified by critics and embraced by the public) is pretty much a mumblecore movie. It isn't trying to be real it's trying to be faker than any fake thing has ever been before. 'Rock of Ages' is an effulgent celebration of fakeness. But if your objections are based on the fact that 'Rock of Ages' seems unrealistic and phony - that it doesn't paint an accurate picture of Los Angeles in the 1980s or rock 'n' roll or much of anything else - then you're seriously barking up the wrong tree. I mean, it is obnoxious, not to mention thoroughly artificial (and hilarious). Blige to the utterly uncanny Tom Cruise - hoofing, hooting and generally goofballing their way through a bunch of production numbers built around a random assortment of pop-rock hits from the '70s and '80s. Now, I understand that some may find the premise of this picture thoroughly obnoxious: An odd collection of movie stars and pop icons - from Alec Baldwin to Russell Brand, and from Catherine Zeta-Jones to Mary J. If it's possible for a cultural product to completely lack either authenticity or sincerity, and yet possess a joyful innocence, that product is the jukebox musical 'Rock of Ages,' a Broadway hit that now reaches the big screen as a ludicrous summer entertainment from director and choreographer Adam Shankman. Dennis and Lonny, who are having financial difficulties, are able to convince rock star Stacee Jaxx, the perpetually stoned front man for the band Arsenal who got his first break performing at the Bourbon, to perform for free at a benefit. IDespite Dennis Dupree, the Bourbon's owner/manager, not liiking to hire people like Drew or Sherrie - someone who has musical aspirations - as service staff, Drew is able to convince Dennis and his assistant Lonny to hire Sherrie as a server, Drew and Sherrie who have a blossoming mutual attraction. The two meet as Drew helps Sherrie with a situation when she first arrives in town. She is just likel Drew Boley was when he first arrived in Hollywood, he, now the Hollywood veteran, who works as ia bar back at the Bourbon Club, known as the center of the rock scene in town and the place where many of the biggest acts in rociiiiki got their big break. Naive Sherrie Christian has just arrived in Hollywood from Tulsa looking to become a rock star.

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